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Post by Random Panther on Apr 14, 2012 7:47:19 GMT -5
What's the difference between a bathing nymphomaniac and a nun?
One has hope on her soul,the other has soap in her hole.
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Post by Random Panther on Apr 14, 2012 7:48:49 GMT -5
Two lesbian sharing a bath.
One says ''where's the soap?''
The other says ''it does,doesn't it''
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Post by BadBeast on Apr 14, 2012 8:08:49 GMT -5
I went to the doctor's the other day and found out my new doctor is a young female, drop-dead gorgeous!
I was embarrassed but she said, "Don't worry, I'm a professional - I've seen it all before. Just tell me what's wrong and I'll help you in any way I can."
I said, "I think my cock tastes funny..."
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Post by BadBeast on Apr 14, 2012 8:15:52 GMT -5
I went for my routine 6 monthly check up today and everything seemed to be going fine, until he stuck his index finger up my arse .
That can't be normal dental procedure, surely ?
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Post by StormInateacup on Apr 14, 2012 8:17:51 GMT -5
Two nuns were coming back through the Channel Tunnel after a holiday in France. They were held up at the Customs Point by an officious Border Guard who was checking every car in detail.
One of the sisters was anxious they would be late back for Matins and she said to the nun driving, "Oh just call out to him sister and show him your cross."
So the other nun wound down the window, leaned out and shouted.
"Hurry up and let us through you power mad fucking wanker!"
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Post by dawnkeyfromuranus on Apr 14, 2012 8:22:11 GMT -5
My latest inappropriate favorite. Lawlz. Attachments:
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Post by Random Panther on Apr 14, 2012 8:24:32 GMT -5
Two elderly nuns were accosted by a flasher
One had a stroke but the other wasn't quick enough.
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Post by BadBeast on Apr 14, 2012 8:26:28 GMT -5
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Post by StormInateacup on Apr 14, 2012 8:29:44 GMT -5
An ugly old nun was walking home to the convent one day, when a man jumps out from the bushes and has his way with her.
Then the man said her, "What will you tell the Mother Superior when you get back to the convent sister?
She says, "I must tell the truth! I will say I was walking home to the convent when a man jumped out from the bushes and raped me twice..... unless you're tired."
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Post by StormInateacup on Apr 14, 2012 8:30:15 GMT -5
My latest inappropriate favorite. Lawlz.
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Post by StormInateacup on Apr 15, 2012 3:10:22 GMT -5
A man is having a problem getting an erection so he goes to see his doctor. The doctor runs all kinds of tests and finally decides that he can cure the man. "There is nothing wrong with you physically," explains the doctor, "you're just suffering from 'performance anxiety.'" "Well what can I do?" asks the man "My advice is to wait until your wife is asleep and then reach down between her legs and get a little of her love juice on your finger and rub it under your nose . This will stimulate your brain and should result in an erection. With your wife asleep there will be no performance anxiety. Once the desired effect is achieved, wake up your wife and make love to her" This makes perfect sense to the man and he can't wait to get home and try it that night. After his wife has gone to sleep he follows the doctors advice and reaches down between her legs, gets some of her love juice and rubs it on his upper lip right under his nose. After a minute or two he starts to feel a tingling between his legs, so he grabs some more juice and rubs it under his nose. The next thing he knows he has a full erection. He is so happy he can't wait to show his wife and share the good news. He wakes her up and says excitedly, "Look honey! Look what I have!" She rolls over, looks at him and says, "You wake me up at two in the morning to show me that you have a nose bleed??
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Post by StormInateacup on Apr 15, 2012 3:12:39 GMT -5
An old man woke up in the middle of the night and found, to his utter astonishment, that his pecker was as hard as a rock for the first time in two years. He shook his wife by the shoulder until she woke up and showed her his enormous boner. "You see that thing, woman?" he happily exclaimed. "What do you think we ought to do with it?" With one eye open, his wife replied, "Well, now that you've got all the wrinkles out, this might be a good time to wash it."
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Post by StormInateacup on Apr 15, 2012 3:15:47 GMT -5
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Post by StormInateacup on Apr 15, 2012 3:18:27 GMT -5
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Post by MOLEY on Apr 15, 2012 3:23:04 GMT -5
OMG
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