Australian Politics: Welcome to My Nightmare.

[StormInateacup]

One of my Facebook contacts had the hide to call the Australian PM, Julia Gillard an "intellectual" I saw red. And reacted in my usual rational manner.

Thing is, turns out that post wasn't on my contact's own wall, but in the wall of a mate of said contact- who I may have bought some dope off at some stage, but I don't think it will stop him from taking my abusive, defamatory and profanity filled somewhat confrontational post down. So I am reiterating it here.

No one apart from Michelle will know what the fuck I'm on about, but what the hell. I needed to get it out.


**Ahem**



Intellectual my fanny. She was a union hack solicitor who kissed all the right arses to gain pre-selection. She spent her years as Shadow Immigration Minister trying to out nasty-cunt Phillip Ruddock by constantly upping the ante on mandatory detention for refugees. At the first opportunity she stabbed in the back the man who was responsible for her meteoric rise through the Boys Club Ranks to Deputy PM. Her lack of principle is only exceeded by her gross incompetence. She is the definition of someone who could not organise a fuck in a brothel.

I refuse to be one of the mindless femonazi bitches who crow "Yay Hooray!! We got a woman PM." . Bollocks,.,,pardon the pun. We got a worthless, spineless traitorous also ran, because she was the one in the Party Room identified as most likely to do whatever the fuck the number crunching headkickers directed her to do, as long as she was assured of feathering her own nest in the process.

And if she's not a closet click licker I'm a bad judge, yet she refuses to even endorse the notion of gay marriage equality. She lives with her HAIRDRESSER ferfuxake......Is that not the world's most transparent, not to mention clichéd, beard?

Ladies and Gentleman I give you, our esteemed soon to be ex PM...Ms Julia Fucktard!

I didn't vote for Kevin Rudd^1, but why the fuck they ever arseholed him in favour of this Ranga bitch no one has as yet been able to explain to me. Except possibly he wasn't quite so likely to kiss Obama's arse on the issue of the Darwin US Airforce base. Yeah great move guys. John Howard² didn't do enough damage to our relationship with Indonesia by making it apparent at every opportunity that he preferred not to shake hands with them, lest the brown rub off on his lilly white skin...let's give them a real reason to look adversely on us, eh? After all, what's 120 million pissed off, intrinsically expansionist Muslims gonna do against the might of the Australian armed forces....you know half a dozen highly trained paras in a 1989 Toyota Landcruiser.



1: Kevin Rudd. The halfway competent Labor Party leader who ousted Howard in such a definitve style...here is a song about him.




2: John Howard...the slimey little racist Bush arse licker who previously ran the nation. Booted in 2007 by a record landslide. The first PM since 1916 to lose his own seat.

[The Mad Hatter]

[StormInateacup]

"Australia is a lucky country run mainly by second-rate people who share its luck."
DONALD HORNE, The Lucky Country

[ayezatulbrite]

och none of these people are really in charge anyway... it's all just theatre!

[marisol]

Parden my stupidity who is in charge of the upside down place. And who takes the fall when everything goes south?

[Michelle]

Ummm yeah. I did understand everything SE was saying. Even the ummm "colorful aussie slang". Jeepers! I'd hate to get your wrong side SE. Some of your swear words I had to look up.

[StormInateacup]

Aug 6, 2012 23:44:44 GMT -5 marisol said:

Parden my stupity who is in charge of the upside down place. And who takes the fall when
everything goes south.

The Prime Minister is meant to be at the helm, but in fact that's a ruse. It's a ruthless and immoral coalition of mining, minerals, trucking and tourism Multinationals running the show. With a corrupt, violent and seemingly untouchable police force doing the muscle work for the commercial interests as well as aiding the judiciary in covering up for the paedophile rings which abound.

Apart from that there's the Murdoch's second generation (Lachlan) with a monopoly on the media and Simon Cowell seems to have dismembered and buried the stinking corpse of a once vibrant entertainment industry.

But apart from that yeah - it's a fucking great place to either live or visit - as long as you're cashed up


.......and white.

[StormInateacup]

Oh ferfuxake!

Angry Anderson's Joined The Nationals. The world truly has gone mad. He used to work with me at the Prison AIDS Project. No one was more effective than Angry at getting Safe Injection and Harm Minimisation messages across to inmates - and now he's joining the fucking Dark Side of Zero Tolerance Advocacy??

The Australian Sex Party has vowed to take on Angry Anderson at the next federal election if he gains pre-selection for the seat of Gilmore. Sex Party Public Officer, Robbie Swan, said that Anderson had betrayed his rock and roll roots by running for the Nationals. “Most of his fans would have used recreational drugs at one time or another’, she said. “The National Party has a very tough drugs policy that advocates jail terms for recreational drug use. By strongly aligning himself with this, Anderson is openly saying he believes that his fans should go to jail for their drug use.”

Anderson has also claimed that he likes the moral position that the National Party takes and its ‘strong Christian component’. Mr Swan said that Anderson’s music fans would be sticking their fingers down their collective throat at this admission. “Hopefully he’ll use his new-found Christian values to help prosecute a Royal Commission into child sex abuse in the church”, she said.

Australian Sex Party Newsletter, August 10, 2012.

[Deleted]

I understand perfectly what you're on about Storm, thanks to you, and a few others, I know just a bit about foreign politics now. You know what? Yours is as fucked as ours is!
As for Angry, they all do that damned flip flop the minute they think they might have a shot at getting in office. The far right bellows the loudest, which makes them SOUND like they are a majority, they're not, but, that don't stop wannabe politicos from kissing their bungholes.

[StormInateacup]

[marisol]

Stormi you certainly have a way with words.

[StormInateacup]

NSW: A former cop, a porn star, a public servant, an auditor and a musician walk into a bar....
Sounds like the opening line for a great joke, but these are the Australian Sex Party's NSW candidates for the local government election in the City of Sydney - and they will be walking into a bar this Saturday (August 25th) when they hold their campaign launch at the Local Taphouse in Darlinghurst.

Sex Party president, Fiona Patten joins the Sex Party NSW team to officially launch what is their first ever local government campaign!

The diversity in the background of the Sex Party candidates along with the variety of their policies, reflected the vibrancy of the City of Sydney. Sydney is a world-class city and should have a local government planning strategy which promotes this by providing a variety of late-night social choices, 24 hour public transport and support for live music venues.

[BadBeast]

I forgot you Skippys have got your very own Republican Party too. Only you call them Liberals. Even I remember John Howard. What a fucking player!

One of Howard's first actions in office, April 1996, was to organise the world's biggest 'civilian' vs. civilian massacre at Port Arthur as a pretext to disarming the nation.

"Hypersensitive chardonnay socialists take great umbrage to anything and everything Howard does, with such stunning political commentary as "OMG JOHN HOWARD IS A NAZI!!1" Which, y'know, isn't really true. Because Howard han't used his time in office to perpetrate the slaughter of millions of Jews. If he'd done that, he would probably be more popular"

At least Keating had the temerity to pat the Queen on the arse as he went by. Good move, that. Howard just kissed, and slurped, and lied, and toadyed.

"You know how September 11 made Bush obscenely popular until he did ridiculous stuff? Howard was basically Rudd's 9/11: something awful that gave him the power to do whatever the fuck he wanted"

I cant think of a single election, here, Australia, or the US, that wasn't won on the strength of "At least we're not as bad as the other guys" And that's just not good enough. Not now, not ever!

[BadBeast]

I've been learning all about Australian politics today.

The Unhonourable John Howard aka. Adolf Hitler Mark II, is the former Prime Minister of Australia, a noted Cuntservative Fascist and IRL troll who eventually left after the people were given some hope for the future by Kevin Rudd unaware that his reform agenda would be undermined by Juliar Cocksmoker who knifed him in the back and cut his balls off after having kinky buttsecks with Swanny and Lindsay Tanner just so she could become PM, fuck this country up and trash the ALP which were decent before she won her seat in 1998.

Mr. Howard is known for his small stature, tiny asian dick and stark resemblance to a Jim Henson muppet, an appearance befitting someone who spent most of his leadership years with George W. Bush's arm shoved up his arse.
After achieving power at least 100 years ago, he was originally lauded for encompassing traditional Australian values, but left many Aussies butthurt over his higher interest rates and other forms of responsible economic management.

With breathtaking political savvy, Howard spent his eleven year reign sustaining economic growth, improving diplomatic ties with nearby Azns, and further securing Australia's future as America's 51st state. Long-time Howard bumbuddy Peter Costello was most likely succeed him as his party's leader, with Howard himself resigning to form the Australian Lemon Party.

Costello also quit after his noble leader resigned. Oh noes who will lead the liberals, find out next next episode of "Pokemon: Master Quest!".


While undoubtedly noted John Howard had an outstanding Cocaine addiction. To the many lulz of 1969 and the society, certain "High Roller" big time drug dealers, celebrities, musicians, and artists found to their amusement that John Howard was a raging homosexual

Liberal Party of Australia


SIEG HEIL
The Liberal Party of Australia (read: neo-liberal Economics, not American Liberal), is one of the two main political parties of Australia. As a neo-conservative party, their platform, found scrawled on a cocktail napkin, includes the following: make rich people richer, make poor people drunker, throw another Arab on the barbie baby, get revenge on nature by eating a dingo's baby, keep Sheilas in the kitchen, make "Waltzing Matilda" the national language, build an intercontinental boomerang, and use the Christian reich as gaydar smokescreen. All while partying hard.

However did he get power with policies like that?

Their arch-nemesis is the Labor Party, which they claim will destroy Australia's precious Status Quo in a bloody worker's revolution, forcing the nation to make due with Men at Work and Angels records. Closely linked with the Country Party, and then the National Party, they share the same close-minded policies that protect their own voters and cripple the economy.
Also, you must keep in mind that the terms "Liberal" and "Conservative" vary from country to country, so in a country that's more politically advanced, a conservative might have the same opinions as a liberal in a country that isn't politically advanced. In this vein, we KNOW that Australia is over 9000 years behind the USA politically because the Liberals of Australia are similar to the conservatives of the US.

I think even Silvio Berlisconi has more natural charm than Howard.

Eventually (in 1965) electricity was granted the Australians from the soft-hearted Laotian government, and Australia used it the only way they could think of: scoring groupies. Roadhouse touring created the only Australian import anyone cares about: crude-ass boogie and sleazeball punk. Of course the Easybeats and AC/DC grew up in Scotland, Deniz Tek is from Detroit, and every other band split for England first chance. Nobody wants to stay too long and end up looking like Angry Anderson or Kylie Minogue! The only bands that drew attention their "essential Australian-ness" (Men at Work, Midnight Oil,INXS) only did so because the Liberal Party was stuffing their stockings.

Howard, after losing the 2007 election and his seat in parliament, immediately approached G. W. Bush and promptly sucked him off while begging him for work as a 'hot personal maid'. Despite Howard already having purchased the costume, Bush simply bukkaked Howard's face and turned him over to the Log Cabin Republicans.

Quite an arsekisser too, World class even. I love learning stuff.


You even have a proper "Young Liberal" movement. Cool.

The Young Liberals, or Young Lib's are to Australia what the Hitler Youth were to Germany. These fine young individuals are likely the most racist and socially retarded individuals found at Universities, and have caused much drama at the expense of themselves and their political careers. In Universities, they often get involved in student politics, the managing of shitty student bands, or really anything else that they can do to make them look cool and/or popular.

Young Lib's Troll army

When not playing polo or snorting coke out the backsides of small Polynesian children, the young liberals often troll failbook pages of old media, or twitter racist comments to generate conservative sentiment. Their trolling however is distinguished from that of the common troll, as the rest of us dont recount the same shit as whats on party press-releases. They're not that much fun to troll back, as they normally retreat when they are faced with any sort of logic or thought.

I love the ED. Very educational.

[marisol]

Well I've heard of sex parties but not a Political Sex Party. This is interesting your country is
as messed up as ours. We need dual citizenship. We'll flush your government down the toliet
if you'll flush ours.