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Post by rscott on Jul 12, 2012 6:06:50 GMT -5
You can have an erection after you're dead.
A death erection (sometimes referred to as "angel lust") is a post-mortem erection which occurs when a male individual dies vertically or face-down with the cadaver remaining in this position. During life, the pumping of blood by the heart ensures a relatively even distribution around the blood vessels of the human body. Once this mechanism has ended, only the force of gravity acts upon the blood. As with any mass, the blood settles at the lowest point of the body and causes edema or swelling to occur; the discoloration caused by this is called lividity.
If an individual dies vertically such as in a hanging, the blood will settle in the legs and pool at the feet. The pressure will be greatest as the weight of the blood pushes down. This causes the blood vessels and tissues in the feet to engorge to their greatest elastic capacity and hold the greatest volume of blood possible. This effect occurs right up the legs although to a lesser extent than the feet and is also notable at the waist. The blood which remains in the torso attempts to move to a lower position due to gravity, and as the blood in the waist (which cannot move down due to the legs being full) causes the penis, consisting of erectile tissue, to fill with blood and expand. This is the death erection. As long as the body remains in this position the effect will continue.
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Post by StormInateacup on Jul 12, 2012 7:22:53 GMT -5
You can build up gaseous emissions as well post mortem, which might come out either end, with a sound very much like wind would have made before you'd passed. And the constriction of the vocal cords and muscles as rigour sets in can cause the deceased to moan quite loudly and consistently while they're dead too - so you know with men at least this goes some way to explaining how it's difficult to tell occasionally and a death could go utterly unnoticed.
His missus might well say:
"Well he were sat on that settee for bloody hours. Never moved a muscle, 'ard as week old bread he were, burping and farting like gang busters and moaning fit to bust. I thought 'e were fine!"
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Post by rscott on Jul 12, 2012 15:35:12 GMT -5
I worked briefly as an autopsy assistant in college and heard and saw these things first hand on humans but I had already noticed the same thing in cattle and other dead animals. The whole point of poke'n dead shit with a stick as kids was to triggered a set of horrendous stink'n farts. Good clean boy fun. When we got older high powered rifles are fun on bloated carcasses but now the big thing is Tannerite. This is a half pound of Tannerite in a dried carcass. You should see what five pounds does to a fresh corpse. I've got it on video, I'll load mine to YouTube when I have time.
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Post by StormInateacup on Jul 17, 2012 7:53:44 GMT -5
The European Chess Union recently banned female competitors from wearing tight, revealing or low cut clothing. They said that the distraction it caused to male opponents was giving the women an unfair advantage.
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Post by StormInateacup on Jul 19, 2012 6:22:34 GMT -5
For centuries at Christmas , before the Victorians got a hold of it and commercialised the fuck out of it, Turkeys would be brought inside the house as part of the celebrations, allowed to wander round the tree, picking at the nuts and dried fruits and people would pat and cosset them.Then one day someone decoded to grab the poor old gobbler, rip it open and shove an apple up its arse. And the turkey at Christmas dinner tradition was spawned.
***
The longest fence in the world is here, in Australia.
It's the Dingo Proof Fence, It stretches 5,614 km from Jimbour on the Darling Downs near Dalby in North Queensland through thousands of kilometres of arid land, ending west of Eyre peninsula on cliffs of the Nullarbor Plain above the Great Australian Bight near Nundroo, South Australia.
Its champions claim it has been successful, though dingoes can still be found in parts of the southern states. In fact all it has done is ensure the near extinction of pure blood dingoes in the southern parts of the country.
Although the fence has helped reduce losses of sheep to predation by dingoes, feral dogs are and always have been responsible for far more stock losses. Also, holes in fences found in the 1990s through which dingo offspring have passed have allowed a few dingoes to get in, and interbreed with the feral dogs, which has further damaged the genetic security of dingos, our only major predator.
In fact pasture land damage, mainly by competition from rabbits and kangaroos was always more of a threat to the feed security for sheep farmers, but they're all too fucking dumb to recognise that, even today.
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Post by BadBeast on Jul 19, 2012 7:27:57 GMT -5
Random Sex facts.
In the State of Washington, it is illegal to have sex with a virgin, under any circumstances,including the Wedding night.
It is illegal to have sex without a condom in in Nevada.
In Arizona, Florida, Idaho, Indiana, Massachusetts, Mississippi, Nebraska, Nevada, New York, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah, Vermont, Washington DC, and Wisconsin, an erection that shows through a man's clothing is illegal.
In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. Because, yanno, that would be gay.
In Bahrain, a Doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is forbidden from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.
Most Middle Eastern Countries recognise the following Islamic Law. "After having sexual relations with an lamb, it is a mortal sin to eat it's flesh".
The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.
In Hong Kong,a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so using her bare hands. The husband's lover, may be killed in any manner desired.
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Post by BadBeast on Jul 19, 2012 7:35:49 GMT -5
Kennedy and Lincoln facts.
Both Presidents were assassinated by men with 15 letters in their names. Lee Harvey Oswald, and John Wilkes Booth.
Lincoln was shot in a Theatre, and his assassin ran to a warehouse. Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran to a Theatre.
Lincoln's Secretary was called Kennedy/ Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.
Both men were succeeded in office by a man called Johnson.
Both men left widows who eventually married Greek shipping magnates.
Both men had children named "Tod".
Mrs Kennedy liked bananas. Mrs Lincoln went bananas.
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Michelle
Lecturer In Regular Oration(Lvl 4)
Some damage but doing ok.
Posts: 183
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Post by Michelle on Jul 19, 2012 9:35:33 GMT -5
If you drive a Subaru then consider this if you read it backwards.
U R A BUS!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2012 10:37:49 GMT -5
If you drive a Subaru then consider this if you read it backwards. U R A BUS! Does this look like a bus??!! Attachments:
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Michelle
Lecturer In Regular Oration(Lvl 4)
Some damage but doing ok.
Posts: 183
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Post by Michelle on Jul 19, 2012 11:02:56 GMT -5
Just add children.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2012 11:52:22 GMT -5
Just add children. Heh heh, I'm in the process of applying small, discreet lettering to the back window, it reads "not a minivan".
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Michelle
Lecturer In Regular Oration(Lvl 4)
Some damage but doing ok.
Posts: 183
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Post by Michelle on Jul 19, 2012 11:55:34 GMT -5
See? Told ya. U R A BUS!
Nice car though.
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Post by StormInateacup on Jul 21, 2012 15:57:29 GMT -5
Up until the mid 18th Century, it was widely held by the medical community in Britain that the best way to revive a person who had drowned was not by breathing air into their lungs, but smoke into their nether regions, by means of a small bellows like instrument, with a pipe attached. The pipe was filled with tobacco, lit, the nozzle at the end of the bellows was inserted into the person's anus and primed. I am not sure at what stage this practice was revealed to be rather less than useful, but it is certain that for many decades, alongside the ropes and flotation rings which were hung on the sea walls and along the Thames embankment, one would find these bellows like instruments. People involved in rescue operations, such as Lighthouse Keepers were expected to know, as they are now expected to know CPR, how to use this device. The efficacy of such an action was obviously disproven at some stage however and the practice fell out of favour - Hence I suspect, the phrase "to blow smoke up one's arse." coming to mean "utter bollocks." For the cynical in the audience who think I have made this fact up - here is a picture of two different types of said instrument.
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Michelle
Lecturer In Regular Oration(Lvl 4)
Some damage but doing ok.
Posts: 183
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Post by Michelle on Jul 21, 2012 16:28:36 GMT -5
I gotta tell ya, if anyone but you was to tell me this stuff as a fact, I'd not believe them.
Who the hell thought that one up?
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Post by StormInateacup on Jul 21, 2012 16:58:12 GMT -5
Well, you know the British - kinky lot of feckers, aren't they? I imagine some naval type just thought it might be a fun thing to do and it caught on.
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