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Post by The Mad Hatter on May 3, 2012 15:03:17 GMT -5
One of my other "most embarassing". I was about 25, it was between the two husbands so that would be 1993. This is why I am no longer allowed to drink tequila in public or without a trustworthy chaperone. There were these guys who came in from their yacht and were buying round after round at the bar. They had amassed a fairly large crowd at and around their table when someone else from the boat appears with a case of tequila. Now I'm a drinker. I've drank for years and can usually hold my own. This however, was my frist extended experience with tequila. I was given my own bottle. I proceeded to drink that bottle because they promised $1000 to anyone who would eat the worm. At some point it became necessary, in my mind at least, that I become naked. It was about the same time that I felt the need to dance on the bar. I woke up at my girlfirend's place, in my underwear and some guy's shirt, $1000 in $20's stuffed in my bra with a thank you note on a napkin from the bar. I really only remember to about halfway thru that bottle. Never got sick. Pics or it didn't happen.
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Post by The Mad Hatter on May 3, 2012 15:03:38 GMT -5
It was a nice Halloween night in Florida and I was taking my little brother around trick or treating. We were making a haul too!
There's always one house that is dark, and you just know the people are home. Well, I guess you younger people don't know a lot about trick or treating these days. Take my word for it though, there was always one.
It was getting near the end of the night and we had all the candy we wanted but I was determined to go knock on this door. The house sat pretty far back from the road and the driveway was lined with big oak trees.
So I held Damians' hand and off we go down the driveway. I admit it was dark and spooky but once my mind was set on a thing that was that.
We got about halfway down the drive and something in a branch above me rustled. We couldn't see anything at all so we started walking again. What happened next took 10 years off of my life, I swear.
The branch above me rustled again. Something landed on my shoulders and had handfuls of my hair. I screamed and reached up to grab it. All I felt was fur. Now panic was really setting in. Whatever it was on my head was screaming. I was screaming. Damian was screaming.
The world had slowed down and it was like it was standing still. I still had my hands on the fur so with all my strength I just threw it. As it landed I took off for the road yelling for Damian to hurry up. I got to the road and no little brother. I started to go back in after him when he came running up the road.
We were standing there shaking and trying to catch out breath, terrified. As we started to realize we were both alright we began to calm down. Damian asked me what that thing was.
As it had landed screaming my mind had registered what it was but was unable to tell my brain.
I was HAD. I knew it and it got funny. The owners of that house had a pet monkey. As I told Damian what it was he got to laughing.
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Post by MOLEY on May 3, 2012 16:01:27 GMT -5
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Post by MOLEY on May 3, 2012 16:03:32 GMT -5
OFF OFF OFF OFF.......oh hellooooo Mister Hat we all do embarrassing things mine are too shameless to mention again however.
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Post by The Mad Hatter on May 3, 2012 16:06:03 GMT -5
I still hate monkeys to this day.
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2012 16:11:01 GMT -5
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Post by MOLEY on May 3, 2012 17:18:20 GMT -5
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Post by The Mad Hatter on May 3, 2012 17:26:51 GMT -5
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Post by philipkduck on May 3, 2012 18:00:25 GMT -5
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Post by StormInateacup on May 3, 2012 18:08:12 GMT -5
You know when you're so hammered in some horrible disco in the late 80's with flashing lights and the haze of ciggie smoke, young, shameless...... And you reach for a cigarette in your handbag and bung it in your gob, go to light it? and someone who is far too sober is pointing and laughing at you as you have just tried to set fire to a feckin tampon hanging out of your mouth, but luckily you are miles away from doing it due to beer goggles yet wavering the flame around is highlighting this fact for others in the vicinity to see.
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Post by MOLEY on May 3, 2012 18:13:17 GMT -5
Well......well, that wasn't me that wasn't ;D
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Post by StormInateacup on May 3, 2012 18:29:17 GMT -5
I had a very bad boy boyfriend (no not just the one, but this one in particular). He was a biker - a proper one. Outlaw Club, buying speed by the key from the Hells Angels Club House. Big mofof FLH WideGlide (and a v sweet Triumph Thunderbird too - the 1954 rigid frame model so anachronistically ridden over that barbed wired fence by Steve McQueen in The Great Escape). Anyhoo - this bloke and I had been to see The Cruel Sea in the city in Melbourne. Must have been about 1991.We were cranked to the gills (see above "buying speed by the key) and on an especially high kind of roll from the awesomeness of the band. His bike was parked in a multi-storey car park in Collins Street Melbourne, where the finanacial District is located. So all the cars around us were Beemers, Mercs, Audis - the occasional Porsche and sitting there sweet and sleek and shiny was a lovely Roller....yep. A Silver Spirit Rolls Royce. Brand spanker he said it was. Must have belonged to the Crown Prince of Victoria he said - there was an approval list of people deemed fit to buy a new Roller in those days. Well me and my anarcho-socialist social conscience, and possibly gee'd up by a whackload of amphetamines starts in on the "Fuck 'em all...fascist cunts...." So I break into a couple of verses from Die Yuppie Die and start making noises about keying their fancy-arsed cars that they got from exploiting the sweat of the masses. "Fuck 'em...fuck 'em all!" I was yelling. At which point, he, overcome with desire at my radical insanity pipes up "I'd rather fuck you." - and proceeds to do just that - over the bonnet of said Silver Spirit. I must admit I was rather enthusiastic about it. Seemed so rad and bad, innit? So we're pretty loved up in the after glow and after slipping a few of our (well mostly mine really) articles of clothing back on we hop on the Harley. Make our way down all the levels to the out ramp, where we need to stop at the manned booth, present the timed ticket and pay the fella. And a beaming, uniform clad booth worker greets us with "Evening folks - lovely fucking night, innit?" and I spy over his shoulder a bank of little tele screens, all transmitting footage from a different floor of the carpark. Pride of place on the end screen was - yep - the special little nook in which sat the Silver Spirit. Worst bit was my boyfriend only had a $50 note and the prick in the booth took his own sweet time making change too. Smiling his big shit eating grin at me the entire time. As the gate rose he leans over, winks at me and says "Come any time sweetheart!" I blame Tex Perkins. That man did terrible things to my libidinous energies.
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Post by MOLEY on May 3, 2012 19:11:59 GMT -5
I will have to point and laugh at you tomorrow darling the cheap wine I got today made me feel a bit icky need to go to beddykins night night
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2012 19:20:02 GMT -5
Oh Stormi we should have grown up together.
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Post by The Mad Hatter on May 3, 2012 19:32:49 GMT -5
Oh hell, we should all party together sometime. Deep in the woods with no cameras allowed.
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