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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2012 12:56:36 GMT -5
This is where you share your deepest dirty little secret. Nothing tragic, just those little embarassing moments from your past that you really want to forget and we really want to give you shit about.
There is only 1 rule here.
1. They must be embarassing.
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2012 12:59:27 GMT -5
I will start. Contrary to what you may believe I was at one time quite wild. Very very wild in fact. So wild I have things I hope my children don't learn about until they have children wild. I went to spring break in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida in 1986. I was 18, damned good looking and drunk off my ass. Somewhere, out there, is a video and pictures of my boobs. Yes, I am ashamed to admit, I am a "Girls Gone Wild" alumni.
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Post by The Mad Hatter on May 3, 2012 13:08:27 GMT -5
LOL. Terri flashes her tits all the time. We have also been known to moon people.
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Post by philipkduck on May 3, 2012 13:34:16 GMT -5
Here's an embarrassing event that springs to mind. I am sure there are more. Very early one morning I found myself in the charming Cornish church of St. Juliot, where Thomas Hardy had worked when he was a young architect. www.btinternet.com/~wesspix/juliot.htmI looked round, and for some reason climbed the steps to the pulpit. Once there I imagined I was preaching to an invisible congregation. I masturbated to orgasm while delivering a Tourette's Syndrome stream of blasphemy. Nothing unusual you might say. I am sure we have all done that. But as my 'sermon' was cumming to an end. I heard the church door creak. No one there. I cleaned myself up and started to play some Bach on the harmonium. I recall distinctly that it was the Sarabande from French Suite No.5 in G major and I played it well. Then, through the now open door I saw a shadow cross the grass of the graveyard. I went outside and saw no one. Then I explored further up the road and found it best to turn round and retrace my steps. Soon after I passed the church on the way back my path was blocked by a flock of sheep on the road. A young shepherdess walked up to my car. I expected her to apologise and say I wouldn't have to wait too long. I didn't expect her to say : Have a good wank did you, you godless bastard ? Those sheep took ages to get off the road. I swear they as well as the shepherdess were glaring at me as I was eventually able to speed away.
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Post by Tofu DeBeast on May 3, 2012 13:46:54 GMT -5
Here's an embarrassing event that springs to mind. I am sure there are more. Very early one morning I found myself in the charming Cornish church of St. Juliot, where Thomas Hardy had worked when he was a young architect. www.btinternet.com/~wesspix/juliot.htmI looked round, and for some reason climbed the steps to the pulpit. Once there I imagined I was preaching to an invisible congregation. I masturbated to orgasm while delivering a Tourette's Syndrome stream of blasphemy. Nothing unusual you might say. I am sure we have all done that. But as my 'sermon' was cumming to an end. I heard the church door creak. No one there. I cleaned myself up and started to play some Bach on the harmonium. I recall distinctly that it was the Sarabande from French Suite No.5 in G major and I played it well. Then, through the now open door I saw a shadow cross the grass of the graveyard. I went outside and saw no one. Then I explored further up the road and found it best to turn round and retrace my steps. Soon after I passed the church on the way back my path was blocked by a flock of sheep on the road. A young shepherdess walked up to my car. I expected her to apologise and say I wouldn't have to wait too long. I didn't expect her to say : Have a good wank did you, you godless bastard ? Those sheep took ages to get off the road. I swear they as well as the shepherdess were glaring at me as I was eventually able to speed away.
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Post by MOLEY on May 3, 2012 14:12:20 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2012 14:15:23 GMT -5
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Post by The Mad Hatter on May 3, 2012 14:19:50 GMT -5
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Post by MOLEY on May 3, 2012 14:37:58 GMT -5
I'll drink to that one Here's an embarrassing event that springs to mind. I am sure there are more. Very early one morning I found myself in the charming Cornish church of St. Juliot, where Thomas Hardy had worked when he was a young architect. www.btinternet.com/~wesspix/juliot.htmI looked round, and for some reason climbed the steps to the pulpit. Once there I imagined I was preaching to an invisible congregation. I masturbated to orgasm while delivering a Tourette's Syndrome stream of blasphemy. Nothing unusual you might say. I am sure we have all done that. But as my 'sermon' was cumming to an end. I heard the church door creak. No one there. I cleaned myself up and started to play some Bach on the harmonium. I recall distinctly that it was the Sarabande from French Suite No.5 in G major and I played it well. Then, through the now open door I saw a shadow cross the grass of the graveyard. I went outside and saw no one. Then I explored further up the road and found it best to turn round and retrace my steps. Soon after I passed the church on the way back my path was blocked by a flock of sheep on the road. A young shepherdess walked up to my car. I expected her to apologise and say I wouldn't have to wait too long. I didn't expect her to say : Have a good wank did you, you godless bastard ? Those sheep took ages to get off the road. I swear they as well as the shepherdess were glaring at me as I was eventually able to speed away.
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Post by Jenne on May 3, 2012 14:41:06 GMT -5
Duck, you should be awarded a prize for that one. I'm outta karma (only gave out two, and now I'm done! boo!) but I'll give you an "exalt" for that ducktale soon.
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Post by bigwillybear on May 3, 2012 14:43:49 GMT -5
Not my story but.... Moleys dad Martin lives next to a farm where there are peacocks. Martin was a keen gardener and fed up with the peacocks coming into his garden and raiding the vegetable patch. One day he spied a peacock eating his crop and wrung its neck leaving the body on his compost heap.
Later he received a visit from the farmer seeking the missing peacock. Martin disclaimed all knowledge of its whereabouts until the farmer pointed out that it was lying dead with a broken neck on his compost heap.
oh! and for Phil.... I then stuffed the birds head up my arse and shagged the body whilst being watched by a group of aged Nuns.
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2012 14:50:28 GMT -5
I ummmm, oh wow, ummmm..... damn.....
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Post by philipkduck on May 3, 2012 14:50:32 GMT -5
Not my story but.... Moleys dad Martin lives next to a farm where there are peacocks. Martin was a keen gardener and fed up with the peacocks coming into his garden and raiding the vegetable patch. One day he spied a peacock eating his crop and wrung its neck leaving the body on his compost heap. Later he received a visit from the farmer seeking the missing peacock. Martin disclaimed all knowledge of its whereabouts until the farmer pointed out that it was lying dead with a broken neck on his compost heap. oh! and for Phil.... I then stuffed the birds head up my arse and shagged the body whilst being watched by a group of aged Nuns. Martin to farmer : Oh that peacock ....
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Post by MOLEY on May 3, 2012 14:55:39 GMT -5
My dad did another embarrassing thing in Tesco about thirty years ago thought he would play boules with an Edam didn't he? "Look at this Penny" he said, "its like boules" and the obvious happened.......He's a bit like Homer Simpson.
He's currently keeping chickens lucky for them they are laying every day because the last lot got eaten, when they didn't serve the purpose. Different hens four brown ones and they have a white Peahen who has befriended them probably telling the hens what happened to her Grand father.
He still denied it even though the evidence was clear.
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2012 14:56:19 GMT -5
One of my other "most embarassing". I was about 25, it was between the two husbands so that would be 1993. This is why I am no longer allowed to drink tequila in public or without a trustworthy chaperone. There were these guys who came in from their yacht and were buying round after round at the bar. They had amassed a fairly large crowd at and around their table when someone else from the boat appears with a case of tequila. Now I'm a drinker. I've drank for years and can usually hold my own. This however, was my frist extended experience with tequila. I was given my own bottle. I proceeded to drink that bottle because they promised $1000 to anyone who would eat the worm. At some point it became necessary, in my mind at least, that I become naked. It was about the same time that I felt the need to dance on the bar. I woke up at my girlfirend's place, in my underwear and some guy's shirt, $1000 in $20's stuffed in my bra with a thank you note on a napkin from the bar. I really only remember to about halfway thru that bottle. Never got sick.
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