OMG!!!! And what was he smoking???

[alyceavary]

So I get back to the hotel after having fun at the beach and a little time at the hotel pool. Get on the computer and I have a private message from my daughter's "father". Who wants a laugh??

"I was wondering if I could get you to do me a huge favor. I want to get my license back so I can go to work and I am qualified for several jobs but I have to have a license for them. Would it possible for you to tell CSE to fogive my past child support so I can get a job to start paying on it. I wouldn't ask but I really need a job or we are about to lose our house. I really do appreciate it"

[/center]

SERIOUSLY??? I have NO job, going to school full-time, living at home with my parents because I can't afford my own house and YOU want ME to give you permission to continue shirking your responsibility? WTF is he thinking?? I'm half-tempted to call his mom and sister and ask them what to do with him. Maybe he should have thought about having a job before having more kids or before refusing to pay his child support. He owes over $12K to me, and I'm supposed to ignore that? I want some of the drugs he's own so I can live in his fantasy world too. Any suggestions on how I should word: "Kiss my goddamn fucking ass and pay to get your license back"? Grrrr..........

[Deleted]

Honey, you smile sweetly and, in your sappiest "little girl" voice you say: "NO" Then you ignore him and let CSE deal with him.

[Deleted]

No you agree on the condition he signs a new child support agreement then garnish the fuck out of his wages. You can't get shit if he ain't working. Ask your lawyer. I understand your feelings completely but you aren't getting anything now. Tbis can change that.

[Deleted]

Child services take their licenses and put them in jail. While it can be revengefully rewarding it is monetarily a dead loss.

Make him agree to immediate garnishment upon being hired.

[BadBeast]

Jun 29, 2012 18:56:36 GMT -5 @khara said:

No you agree on the condition he signs a new child support agreement then garnish the fuck out of his wages. You can't get shit if he ain't working. Ask your lawyer. I understand your feelings completely but you aren't getting anything now. Tbis can change that.

^^^^^This^^^^^^^^^^This^^^^^^^^^^This^^^^^^^^^^This^^^^^^^^^^This^^^^^^^^^^This^^^^^

[StormInateacup]

Before I can formulate my reply I need to have an essential piece of information......


Does the useless prick have life insurance?

[alyceavary]

I don't think he does.....lol I STILL haven't replied. I'm wondering if he asked the other mothers this same thing.....except the one he's living with. At least now I understand the meaning of that dream!!!! LOL It was a warning!! The night I got this message, I had a dream that his sister was my lawyer. LOL

[dawnkeyfromuranus]

I feel your pain. That sounds just like my son's father.

He never did pay child support. I wasn't willing to sue him because I knew how much trouble he could make for us. So I just let it go.

[alyceavary]

It's more the principle than anything. I knew when I filed that I wouldn't get the money. But I feel secure that if he ever does amount to anything and has a GOOD job, then I'll get the money. There's so much I could do with $12K.....new car, down payment on a house, etc........

[Deleted]

The problem is, and it's not that I don't sympathize because I do, but I think taking their license or putting them in jail only further impedes them from getting or keeping a decent job.

And it's not like I wouldn't love to see my ex sitting on his ass in a jail cell but if he is, there is no chance in hell he might be out on that job interview that gets him hired.

It's a no win for anyone. They crack down on these "deadbeat dads" by taking away what might actually help stop them from being deadbeat.

If they instead made them work road crews or highway cleanup for minimum wage so many hours a week while they are job hunting. Or nights in jail and proof of puttin gin so many applications per day.

There has to be a better way.

[alyceavary]

I'm not getting paid as is is, so what's the difference if he's in jail? He has a girlfriend going to school with loans. He had a VA loan, if EITHER of them had actually taken the excess of these loans and put it toward the child support owed, then it wouldn't be as high. Common sense. I REFUSE to forgive his debt. I know better.

[Deleted]

Maybe read what I wrote before you snap at me and say things neither I nor anyone else said.

You aren't getting shit now and his being in jail will just mess up any chances of his getting a job anytime soon. If you're just asking for child support for revenge to fuck him over that is one thing. If you actually want support for your child, then common sense tells you he needs a job.

As much as you may dislike his girlfriend, your saying she should have put part of a loan she has for school towards child support really bothers me. I mean REALLY bothers me. As for his loan thru the VA, what was it for? If it had a specific purpose he may not have been able to use it for back child support.

I despise my ex. You have no comprehension and I can pretty much promise you mine makes yours look like a saint. With that in mind, I've learned I cannot let my anger with him and his new relationship and life interfere with the business at hand which is the support of my children.

With that, I'm done here. It doesn't sound like you actually want advice, you just wanted to rant. Carry on and good luck.

[alyceavary]

I'm all for him having a job, but his history is simply that he will get a job, make a few payments, then either get fired or quit. He's been in jail before for not paying child support and other charges.

I did read the post and it wasn't my intention to snap. He was getting a loan to go to school, my dad got a VA loan and there was an excess check. I get an excess check from school and that's how I live/survive without a job. I would think that MOST people would get put in jail one time and be so miserable that they would do EVERYTHING to not go back. He doesn't seem to live that way. He has a history of complaining about not having the money for rent or a car payment, mostly because he has bought drugs, cigarettes, or went to Red Lobster. I splurge and usually have no money, but as soon as I get a little bit, I pay for my bills and then spend the rest freely.

My thing is, he KNEW he had to pay his child support for me and one other child (possibly two) and instead of paying just a few bucks (maybe $5 a week) here and there, he has spent the last 2-3 years choosing not to pay.

I'm not trying to get revenge, if that were the case I would have reported a TON of things to CSE a long time ago. I like his current girlfriend....at least better than the last one.... but it is frustrating to hear her say how wonderful of a daddy he is when he can't bother to pay child support or call to see how his first daughter is doing. Perhaps a lot of this is ranting and getting things off my chest that I have been holding onto for a long time. I'm sorry if I come across as a bitch or someone just after the money. That's not the case. My daughter is doing just fine not knowing who her father is, but it breaks my heart EVERY time I hear her say that she doesn't have a dad.

I do agree that there needs to be some other punishment than taking away a license, some just drive anyway. A lot of times people are arrested for driving with a suspended license because they couldn't or didn't want to pay a traffic citation.

Originally I posted this FOR advice, and I am VERY grateful for what everyone has suggested. But I think the best option is to not forgive this debt simply because of how he will interpret it: that he still has me wrapped around his finger ad I will do whatever he asks simply to avoid confrontation. That is no longer the case. I apologize now for any perceptions this gives about my personality.

[Deleted]

You don't forgive the debt you re-write it. It's done every day.