I need help with a poem about Romeny

[StormInateacup]

I began to write a limerickal ode to Romney and realised half way through that I know next to nothing about the man or his policies and therefore am doing a half arsed job of satirising his position on anything.

Help me workshop it people?

This is all I have thus far:



There once was a Governor called Romney
About whom this verse is rife with calumny.
He has magical pants
Which he takes off to dance
In fishnets and heels when with his alumni.

Those magic knickers he hopes will protect
All good Amurikins - well, the ones in his sect.
They'll baptise your dead
Even though it might tread
On your freedoms - what - you want some respect?

Then you'll need to vote for one other than Mitt.
His missus just recently threw a pink fit.
"We're not wealthy" she said
"Now off with the head
Of the peasant who ever suggested it!"

His taxes it seems he won't pay.
His income sources are all hidden away
A shelf Co in the Bahamas
Drives the IRS bananas.
They'll have tp close that loophole some day.

His Recovery plan's worth 20 billion.
Bet that'd pay for quite a Cotillion
He's no fucking idea
His head's right up his rear.
So what if national debt measured in bazillions?

His tax package has nasty surprises.
From low income earners it neatly excises
Any spare money they find
But don't go out of your mind
Millionaires will get tax-time cash prizes.

[Deleted]

He's mormon and goofy looking and that's about all I know...

[bigwillybear]

You are right. You do need help with it. It's a limperick.

[jeankeegs]

Mittens is the former governor of Massachusetts, and is the son of a former governor of another state (Michigan), darling.

He made a name for himself by taking control of the horrible mess that the Olympics in Salt Lake City had become - it was a total cesspit of corruption, bribery, and cost overruns, and Mittens turned it around so that the games ended up making a profit. He raised a buttload of private money and got a lot of public money from state and federal sources.

That was largely what he ran on in his governor's race - that and his money-management background at Bain Capital. Massachusetts is a pretty generally liberal state, and he ran as a socially-moderate Republican, supporting reproductive rights and some domestic partnership benefits.

As governor, he focused on budget issues, imposing a lot of fees (for plausible deniability - fees aren't taxes, so he didn't raise taxes...got that???) and cutting spending. His signature legislation, though, was state healthcare reform that required just about everyone to buy health insurance using the individual mandate he now opposes, and that imposed tax penalties on people who don't buy insurance. My brother, who lives in Massachusetts (in Salem), says people consider it a great law, but a pain in the ass...but it does cut down on the previously huge number of uninsured people using healthcare services that used to cost the state a lot of money to cover. I remember that Romney pushed it as much as a cost-saving measure as anything else.

While he was in office, he read the political winds and took a sharp veer to the right - suddenly opposing abortion rights, for example, and I think I remember he was a bit of a dick about same-sex marriage, which was implemented when he was governor - Massachusetts was the first state to allow same-sex marriage.

[StormInateacup]

That's it - he;s too dull and sub par even for decent satirising innee??

trust you to know about the Gov of Massachusetts sweety - not just a Yank but a real Yankee...LMAO.

[StormInateacup]

"I don't give a rats arse 'bout the poor."
Said Mitt. "So the wolf's at the door.
For a third of the peeps
Hope it finally keeps
Them in their place, unlike days of yore.

When the American worker expected
To be decently paid and respected
By his corporate master
Serfdom's just so much faster
A path to making them fully subjected.





That's all I got.

**sighs**
How bad is the political situation when the Cons don't even bother giving you a candidature you can hate on with any kind of passion, eh?

Bring back Santorum I say. Now there was a cocksucker you could despise with a bit of enthusiasm.