Post by BadBeast on May 24, 2012 4:22:23 GMT -5
When, long ago, I found myself in Re-hab, most of the other Patrons, were in for Heroin addiction. We worked in groups of about 12 to 15, with 3 group sessions a day, every day for seven weeks. And the one thing that all of the heroin addicts had in common, bar none, is the sentiment of . . .
"I'll be fine, I hardly use it at all, anyway and I don't have a particularly addictive nature".
This is not for any drug in particular, when it's first said, but applys to anything. Every single Heroin Addict has used this tired, but eminently relevant lie, to themselves. If this were true, then why don't you ever see anyone who is just an occaisional Heroin user? What makes each and every one of them, in spite of the evidence all around them, in spite of everything that they think they know, what is it that makes them all think that they are the special and different one, that they are that rare and lucky man, who can keep a healthy grip on the Beast as if it was a housetrained dog? It's not a dog. It's a fucking Dragon!
The fucking Dragon. You don't ride it, you chase it. You chase it and chase it, and by the time you think you've caught it, you realise that it's been the other way round. But by then, it's too late. It no longer matters. Nothing matters. Nothing, that is, except your new lover. The only one who knows how to love you properly. How to love you wholly. The one who is always there for you, to make the world go away when it gets too much. It covers you both in a bubble of protective, impenetrable love.
Nothing will ever get in to hurt you, not here. Not ever. This is your special place. Where you commune with your God. And She tells you no lies, She loves you.This mighty Dragon Goddess Lover of yours. She loves you. You.
This, you know. Never harsh, never judgemental. Never argumentative. All She wants is you. All of you. Every little bit of you. More and more each day. And you want Her. You NEED Her. Every moment you spend apart, becomes unbearable. She fills your being with need, with want, with Love. She is your everything. Your Perfect Day. Your Brown Sugar, your Golden Brown.
You know she has had so many other Lovers before you. So very many. Yet she still has everything to give to you. Her Love. Your need to have her near to you for always over rides everything. Food, Family, Friends, a home, other people. Anything else. All you need is Her. She fulfills you. Consumes you. Nurtures you with her pure Loving touch.
She heals all the pain and hurt the World throws at you. Never abandons you. Never threatens to leave you. But she is a Jealous Lover. And the pain she feels if you try to walk away from her, becomes your pain too.
Her abscence is a bottomless pit of pain, anguish, grief, and misery. Made all the worse, because you know it could all be washed away, and forgiven, if you just had a tiny, tiny last hit of Her. One touch of her warm fingers in your brain, will make all the pain just go away. Again.
She is needy, she is greedy, she has such huge abandonement issues, rejection is only ever partial with Her. She knows you won't stay away for long. In fact She's waiting for you now, with open arms. Forgiving, full of all that Love. She will wait forever for you. She loves you. You know you still love her too. Even after all this time. Nearly 30 years since you saw her last. But you still feel her within you. Still love her. It's never too late with Her.
Heroin causes no Brain damage, no toxic build up, no nasty residues, it's totally organic, it's virtually the same stuff as your own endorphins. In fact, it's more compatible for you than your own endorphins. If it is introduced to your system, you no longer produce endorphins. Heroin is the superior motorcycle. The real thing. The Panacea. It does no more harm to your body than the good clean air you breath. This is truth.
This kind of thing is why you really have to be on your toes around Heroin. If you are Her type, then all other Drugs will eventually lead you to Her. There is no question about this. She will have you. Utterly possess and consume you. All you have to do, to show willing is chase that Dragon a couple of times. What harm can it do?
"I'll be fine, I hardly use it at all, anyway and I don't have a particularly addictive nature".
This is not for any drug in particular, when it's first said, but applys to anything. Every single Heroin Addict has used this tired, but eminently relevant lie, to themselves. If this were true, then why don't you ever see anyone who is just an occaisional Heroin user? What makes each and every one of them, in spite of the evidence all around them, in spite of everything that they think they know, what is it that makes them all think that they are the special and different one, that they are that rare and lucky man, who can keep a healthy grip on the Beast as if it was a housetrained dog? It's not a dog. It's a fucking Dragon!
The fucking Dragon. You don't ride it, you chase it. You chase it and chase it, and by the time you think you've caught it, you realise that it's been the other way round. But by then, it's too late. It no longer matters. Nothing matters. Nothing, that is, except your new lover. The only one who knows how to love you properly. How to love you wholly. The one who is always there for you, to make the world go away when it gets too much. It covers you both in a bubble of protective, impenetrable love.
Nothing will ever get in to hurt you, not here. Not ever. This is your special place. Where you commune with your God. And She tells you no lies, She loves you.This mighty Dragon Goddess Lover of yours. She loves you. You.
This, you know. Never harsh, never judgemental. Never argumentative. All She wants is you. All of you. Every little bit of you. More and more each day. And you want Her. You NEED Her. Every moment you spend apart, becomes unbearable. She fills your being with need, with want, with Love. She is your everything. Your Perfect Day. Your Brown Sugar, your Golden Brown.
You know she has had so many other Lovers before you. So very many. Yet she still has everything to give to you. Her Love. Your need to have her near to you for always over rides everything. Food, Family, Friends, a home, other people. Anything else. All you need is Her. She fulfills you. Consumes you. Nurtures you with her pure Loving touch.
She heals all the pain and hurt the World throws at you. Never abandons you. Never threatens to leave you. But she is a Jealous Lover. And the pain she feels if you try to walk away from her, becomes your pain too.
Her abscence is a bottomless pit of pain, anguish, grief, and misery. Made all the worse, because you know it could all be washed away, and forgiven, if you just had a tiny, tiny last hit of Her. One touch of her warm fingers in your brain, will make all the pain just go away. Again.
She is needy, she is greedy, she has such huge abandonement issues, rejection is only ever partial with Her. She knows you won't stay away for long. In fact She's waiting for you now, with open arms. Forgiving, full of all that Love. She will wait forever for you. She loves you. You know you still love her too. Even after all this time. Nearly 30 years since you saw her last. But you still feel her within you. Still love her. It's never too late with Her.
Heroin causes no Brain damage, no toxic build up, no nasty residues, it's totally organic, it's virtually the same stuff as your own endorphins. In fact, it's more compatible for you than your own endorphins. If it is introduced to your system, you no longer produce endorphins. Heroin is the superior motorcycle. The real thing. The Panacea. It does no more harm to your body than the good clean air you breath. This is truth.
This kind of thing is why you really have to be on your toes around Heroin. If you are Her type, then all other Drugs will eventually lead you to Her. There is no question about this. She will have you. Utterly possess and consume you. All you have to do, to show willing is chase that Dragon a couple of times. What harm can it do?