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Post by Random Panther on Apr 10, 2012 17:35:52 GMT -5
High in the Eucalypts in cool temperate rainforest regions of eastern and southern Australia lives a rare and fiercesome creature called a drop bear. It is an omnivore and terribly territorial. Unsuspecting bush walkers are often attacked by the small marsupial which drops suddenly from its perch and viciously bites and scratches its hapless victim. The jugular vein is often opened and few have ever lived through such an attack due to the isolated nature of the regions drop bears inhabit being so far from medical aid that most succumb to blood loss or infection from the carrion borne bacteria of the drop bear's mouth before aid is forthcoming.
They told me this when I first arrived in Australia,somehow they thought I would be stupid enough not to have a working knowledge of the wildlife of a country I was visiting for the first time. I knew that Australia's only bear isn't a bear.
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Post by admin on Apr 10, 2012 17:43:26 GMT -5
I just googled to make sure the country even had a rain forest. Just can't trust you fuckers.
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Post by bigwillybear on Apr 10, 2012 18:02:57 GMT -5
A Queensland Drop Bear called Drippy was the star of 1970s TV series Drippy the Bush Drop Bear. Drippy had befriended a park ranger and his son. He aided them in the investigation of crimes committed in the local Bush. Typical dialogue would follow the rough lines of:
Drippy "tsk tsk tsak tssk tsk tsk tsk tsak tsk tsk tsk"
Ranger "What's that Drippy? Two kids taken hostage by crooks holed up at the old Mason farm?"
Drippy "tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk"
Ranger " No I don't give a fuck about em either Drip"
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Post by admin on Apr 10, 2012 18:27:26 GMT -5
There are more bank robberies in modern-day Dayton, Ohio, in a year than there were in the entire Old West in a decade, perhaps in the entire frontier period.
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Post by admin on Apr 10, 2012 18:36:21 GMT -5
Billy the Kid was a pyschopathic murderer, but he didn't kill 21 people by the time he was 21 years old, as the legend says. Authorities can account for three men he killed for sure, and no more than a total of six or seven.
Wild Bill Hickok claimed to have killed six Kansas outlaws and secessionists in the incident that first made him famous. But he lied. He killed just three—all unarmed.
Bill Cody's reputation as a gunslinger was mostly from his own fiction. He freely admitted that he fabricated all the excessive shooting in those dime novels. But he was a good shot and is said to have proved it repeatedly at the bison-killing contests where he earned the nickname Buffalo Bill. But he didn't kill many Indians, and when he was old, his estranged wife revealed that he have been wounded in combat with Indians only once, not 137 times as he claimed.
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Post by StormInateacup on Apr 11, 2012 2:58:42 GMT -5
High in the Eucalypts in cool temperate rainforest regions of eastern and southern Australia lives a rare and fiercesome creature called a drop bear. It is an omnivore and terribly territorial. Unsuspecting bush walkers are often attacked by the small marsupial which drops suddenly from its perch and viciously bites and scratches its hapless victim. The jugular vein is often opened and few have ever lived through such an attack due to the isolated nature of the regions drop bears inhabit being so far from medical aid that most succumb to blood loss or infection from the carrion borne bacteria of the drop bear's mouth before aid is forthcoming. They told me this when I first arrived in Australia,somehow they thought I would be stupid enough not to have a working knowledge of the wildlife of a country I was visiting for the first time. I knew that Australia's only bear isn't a bear. ROFLMFAO!! You'd be amazed how many of them do fall for it!! We've been trolling tourists with drop bears for generations. ;D
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Post by StormInateacup on Apr 11, 2012 3:00:30 GMT -5
I just googled to make sure the country even had a rain forest. Just can't trust you fuckers. Glad you're wising up to me.
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Post by philipkduck on Apr 11, 2012 3:13:05 GMT -5
Correct spelling noted. Report sent to Obergrammarkügelschreiber Tofu.
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Post by philipkduck on Apr 11, 2012 3:22:21 GMT -5
A Queensland Drop Bear called Drippy was the star of 1970s TV series Drippy the Bush Drop Bear. Used to love that show. What's that you say Drippy ? Penfold's got stuck in a duck-billed platypus again ?
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Post by bigwillybear on Apr 11, 2012 4:28:32 GMT -5
Ford named one of their cars the Ford Pinto. It didn't sell well in South America where Pinto means small willy.
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Post by bigwillybear on Apr 11, 2012 4:30:02 GMT -5
you make petrol by whisking egg whites in boiled linseed oil.
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Post by bigwillybear on Apr 11, 2012 4:32:16 GMT -5
the oldest person that ever lived was a French woman who didn't give up smoking until she was 115. At age 92 she took out an equity release mortgage on he home. The broker died before she did. She died aged 122 and a bit.
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jeankeegs
Student Of Verbosity(Lvl 1-2)
It seemed like a good idea at the time, darling...
Posts: 26
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Post by jeankeegs on Apr 11, 2012 21:30:35 GMT -5
I remember that lady, darling. She told an interviewer that she only ever had one wrinkle, and that was on her ass.
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Post by StormInateacup on Apr 11, 2012 22:10:39 GMT -5
A Queensland Drop Bear called Drippy was the star of 1970s TV series Drippy the Bush Drop Bear. Drippy had befriended a park ranger and his son. He aided them in the investigation of crimes committed in the local Bush. Typical dialogue would follow the rough lines of: Drippy "tsk tsk tsak tssk tsk tsk tsk tsak tsk tsk tsk" Ranger "What's that Drippy? Two kids taken hostage by crooks holed up at the old Mason farm?" Drippy "tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk" Ranger " No I don't give a fuck about em either Drip" Wallabies have been used extensively in Police work in NSW since the late 1960's. They are adept at both investigating crimes and apprehending suspects. You could say they're always one jump ahead of the miscreants (but that would be extremely corny and naff so don't say it, 'kay?) Apparently they also play piano rather well.
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Post by bigwillybear on Apr 12, 2012 2:49:28 GMT -5
Kangeroos have a brain the size of a walnut and are pretty much untrainable. During the Queensland annual kangeroo cull they are tagged to stop them evading the hunt by mingling with the locals.
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